Poor Harry
by Anitsyrhk
Summary: Poor Harry. He just wants to be alone. It's quite hard to be alone when you have all these girls claiming to be your sister around.
1. The letter

Poor Harry.

All he wanted to do was be alone.

But unfortunately for him, all these girls kept showing up at the Dursley's. Some claimed to be his soul mate. Others claimed to be his long lost sister. Harry was quite certain that he was an only child.

Halfway through the summer, Harry was fed up with these girls. (And the Dursley's were as well. They couldn't afford to keep all these girls around.) Harry wrote a simple letter to Dumbledore explaining his situation. Harry was confident that Dumbledore would have a solution.

Harry opened the door to Hedwig's cage. Hedwig hooted in alarm. She hoped it wasn't another one of those girls who kept petting her and calling her a "Pretty Birdie." Just in case, Hedwig nipped at the hand that was coming into her cage.

"Bloody hell," yelped Harry. "It's only me, Hedwig."

Hedwig peered outside the door. Yes, it was only Harry. Harry put his hand in the cage for Hedwig to climb on. Once she was out of the cage, she looked at Harry guiltily and hooted apologetically.

"It's alright, Hedwig. Now," he tied his letter to her leg. "Please get this to Dumbledore as soon as possible. It's an emergency, Hedwig."

Harry opened the window and let her outside. Hedwig raced off as fast as she could. Harry looked down and noticed the Knight Bus dropping off another busload of girls. Harry groaned and went downstairs when he heard his uncle yelling. He hoped Hedwig would reach Dumbledore before he did something stupid. Something like take out his wand and Avada Kedavra everything in a five kilometer radius.


	2. The Solution?

I do not own Harry Potter.

Poor Harry.

It took another week for Hedwig to return with Dumbledore's reply. Harry couldn't help but feel annoyed when he read the letter.

_Dear Harry,_

_Yes, I feared that this would happen. These girls are called Mary-Sues. You must avoid them at all costs. I am sending along a coin to you. Just place the coin on the ground. Hopefully she will be able to help you. After she has appeared, explain that she is there to help you to the Dursley's._

_Dumbledore._

Harry stared at the letter in shock. His house was filled to the brim with strangers and all Dumbledore could send him was a coin. A coin!

A knock on the door startled Harry out of his thoughts. The door opened and a girl with black hair and green eyes came through.

"Harry, Auntie said that dinner's almost ready," she said.

Harry pushed his glasses up and stared at her. Auntie? Where did she get off calling Aunt Petunia, Auntie? And if she was his sister, why didn't she have glasses?

"Um. Alright. I'll be right down," Harry replied. The girl, who called herself Harriet, shut the door and went back downstairs.

Harry went back to staring at the letter. In one hand he held the coin. He shrugged and placed the coin on the floor.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered.

In a blinding flash of light, the coin turned into a girl. Not a teenage girl, but a little girl. Literally.

The girl and Harry stared at each other. Finally the girl blinked and asked in a high voice, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Harry," Harry said uncertainly.

"Oh, so you're the bloke with the infestation," the girl sat on Harry's bed and made herself comfortable.

"Are you the she that Dumbledore was talking about?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, I suppose." She said. She jumped down from the bed and began poking around Harry's room. Harry was reminded of a house-elf because of the way she looked around. She had the pointy ears too.

"Not to be rude, but what are you?" Harry wondered aloud.

"Oh? Me? I'm an elf. Phew! What smells in here?" Her head popped out of Harry's closet.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "How are you supposed to help me?"

"Oh, that. I suppose we should talk about that," She walked out of his closet and pulled a sock off her blonde head. She made herself comfortable on Harry's bed again. "Just give me two minutes and I can have them all killed."

"Killed? No, I don't want them killed, I just want them gone," Harry said quickly.

The girl looked disappointed. "We could always say that Harry Potter isn't you. Then they'd leave. Or we could go with Dumbledore's original plan."

Harry looked at the girl, "He had an original plan? Why didn't you tell me?" Harry stood up.

"Because I wanted to kill them." The girl stood up on Harry's bed and crossed her arms. She didn't look very menacing. In fact, she looked more like a cross kitten.

Someone knocked on the door and opened it. It was "Harriet" again.

"Harry, what's all the racket?" She asked before she noticed the little elf. "Ooh! How cute! What's her name?"

The elf scowled at her and bared her teeth. When "Harriet" went to pat her on the head, the elf snapped at her.

"Harriet" snatched her hand back. "Harry, dinner's ready," she said then left.

Harry looked at the girl. "What is your name, anyway?"

"Leo," she replied. "So, are you going to keep me?"

Harry thought for a moment, "Let's see how you do at dinner. What's Dumbledore's plan?"

Leo beckoned to Harry to come closer. She whispered in his ear and Harry's eyes widened. When she was finished, Harry stepped back and looked her up and down. "But you don't look anything like me," he protested.

Leo scoffed. She wiggled her little nose and her pointed ears disappeared. Then, her blonde hair turned black and messy. She waved her hands and a pair of black-rimmed glasses appeared. She put them on She looked like a miniature Harry Potter.

Harry nodded and picked her up. He balanced her on his hip and went downstairs.

"Here goes nothing," Harry muttered.


	3. The What?

I do not own Harry Potter.

Poor Harry.

If he thought that his uncle would take to having another girl in the house well, Harry was sadly mistaken.

"And what are you doing with another one of these girls! I've had enough! Take that owl of yours and get out! Take your girls with you! And don't come back!" Uncle Vernon was red in the face when he was finished yelling. His fat finger pointed Harry in the general direction of the door.

Leo was looking at Vernon with a mixture of horror and awe. She clutched at Harry during his uncle's rant and was now squirming to be let down.

Harry placed Leo on the ground and she walked up to Vernon Dursley. "Begging your pardon sir," She began, using her best manners, "But I couldn't help but notice your situation. I am here to help you get rid of these pests. I am Leola," she stuck her hand up in the air for Vernon to shake.

Vernon Dursley stared down at the little girl. He mutely took her hand and shook it.

"Now, if you'll please sit down and enjoy your meal, your pest problem will soon be gone." Leo led Vernon to his chair. He sat down, still in awe of this little girl. She was so polite. Unfortunately, she looked a little too much like Harry for his liking. Wait a second, something clicked in the oldest Dursley's head.

"HARRY POTTER!" He bellowed. Even the girls who were chittering with each other stopped talking.

Harry looked at his uncle. "Yes sir?" he stuttered.

Vernon pointed a chubby finger at Harry then at the girl who was busy looking for a knife sharper than a butter knife, "You, explain this," he ordered.

"Well," Harry walked over to where Leo was shuffling through a drawer looking for a knife and picked her up. He sat down at his place at the table with her on his lap, "Uncle Vernon, Aunt Petunia, Dudley, I told Dumbledore about our problem and he sent us my **daughter** to help us."

A thud was heard throughout the neighborhood as a large number of Mary-Sues and Aunt Petunia fell to the floor.

Leo cackled loudly and clapped.


End file.
